After last night, I could never be a politician.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
