I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
