i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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