he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you win again, gameday.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
