but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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