love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
