Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
