I am in a vortex of obligation.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
