Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
