My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
