I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
