we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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