You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
did i walk over a car last night?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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