It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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