Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
