either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
