Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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