Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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