WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
