so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
