are you so shy because you have an std?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
