cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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