Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
