And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
