Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
