these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize