Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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