you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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