Your dad touched me again.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
