just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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