Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
