Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I smell like Dick and happiness
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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