dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
