The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
