How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You can't motorboat a personality
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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