Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
