Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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