My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
