they need to just BURY HIM!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
