He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
