More tranny stories later!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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