I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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