The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
