Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
