I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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