I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
