I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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