fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
