youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
