i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
