we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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