Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
