so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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