I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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