So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
