based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
