How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
