at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
