your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
