Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
