brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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