Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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