He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
